Keeping Berkshire Pigs

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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby pa_friendly_guy » Thu Sep 13, 2012 4:42 pm

Graham, I think it was Mark Twain who said, " I know the taste of a watermelon that has been come by honestly, and I know the taste of a watermelon that has been aquired by art, both taste good, but the experianced man knows which is best. " Its nice to know that you are an experianced Man, ;)
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby George Collins » Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:15 am

Before we left to go on vacation, I told Youngblood of the intent to get my little Berkies the day after returning.  He  asked about transportation arrangements. At the time, there were no definite plans. He volunteered his services. I accepted. 

We returned home yesterday and I rushed over to go check on the pigs currently in the production pipeline. Whilst there, I eased up to him under the auspices of telling him about all the fun the kids had. After doing so, I asked, "So, you ready to let's put that cattle panel over your truck bed so we can get an early start after them pigs tomorrow?"

"WHUT?!"

"Well, you said you wanted to go with me to Rayville, LA to pick them pigs up and I was planning on doing so in your truck like you said."

"Can't ya get some from that feller in Bay Springs [which is only 15 minutes away and would therefore inconvenience me FAR less than me keeping my word]?"

I held fast saying, "Nope. Done told the feller in LA that I was coming tomorrow. He's been holdin them pigs for me for two weeks and I aim to get em tomorrow."

"Hell, I gots hay on the ground. You gunna jus haf t'make other 'rangements."

"A'ight then."

And I left. Bout an hour later, I showed back up with a present I bought for him while we were away: elderberry jelly, dandelion jelly and (the kicker) corncob jelly.  It was that corncob jelly that did it. I presented him with his present and never said another word about him standing me up on the use of his truck. We talked for a few more minutes and I walked out with nary a hint in my voice of let down, frustration or anger. 

Sometime later, Momma calls up and tells me, "Your daddy has changed his mind and has decided to go with you to get them pigs. What time do you want to leave in the morning."

I told her 0900 and she relayed the message. 

This morning I sleep in till 0600 but still beat him to the field (he is fattening two steers next to my hogs.)  I acted like the plans had never altered and I was just eager to spend the day with him. 

"What we going in?"

"Well, I reckon we'll go in my suburban."

"Where you plan on puttin'em pigs?"

"I'uz plannin on puttin em in a coupla puppy crates. I called o'boy up and he said that'd proly work out a'ight!"

"They gunna stink."

"Well, it'll only be for a coupla . . ."

He butted in, "A'ight damnit, we'll go in my truck . . . but DAMNIT YOU'RE DRIVING!". And I want my gas tank filled up when we get back to Heidelberg!"

"A'ight then."

As h-hour approached, I was making all manner of preparations: cleaning out the back of his truck, packing water and snacks for the kids, etc. I asked him when he wanted to put that cattle panel across the bed of his truck "to keep them pigs from jumpin out?"

"WHUT!?  You ain't got nuttin to put em in?!"

"Well, I thought we were gunna . . . "

"[Cuss words, cuss words, cuss words . . .]"

"Well I got them puppy crates we can use."

"Where they at?!"

"Out at th'house"

"Go get em. And HURRY UP!  I ain't got all day to be monkeyin round with this!"

"Yessir!"

I get the puppy crates secured into his truck. Only a couple kids wanted to go so they piled in, all arrangements were made and I was about to pull out of the drive way when the coffee kicked in. As I stepped out of the truck, I could feel the anger of his disgusted stare burning holes in the back of my skull. As I get back in, he asks, "ARE YOU READY YET!?"

"Bleeve I am."

"Try not to wreck and kill us before we get outta Jasper County . . . please!"

So we're on the road and he waxes poetic and philosophical most of the way there only deviating from such heavy subjects infrequently to talk about how idiotic and imbecilic I am and how I've been a categorical disappointment to him since shortly after I could walk. 

We make it to Mitchell Family Farms and I am getting the grand tour while the kids entertain themselves with exploration and while he corners dude's mother and talks at length about subjects unknown but surely he took the opportunity to tell a new set of ears about how idiotic and imbecilic I am and how I've been a categorical disappointment to him since shortly after I could walk. 

The tour over, we return to the barn where Linda and Lou are being housed when Youngblood asks, "Brother Mitchell, how much you say you charge for your pigs?"

I break into a cold sweat. This could easily be the end of what's left of my father's sanity if not his life.  Had that dude held forth with, $300.00 per pig, Youngblood would have used that 1940s era education he has to cipher out that I was about to drop $600.00 for two pigs. At that point he would have hit the dirt of feller's barn floor with a grand mal seizure, three hemorrhagic strokes and a rupture of a massive abdominal aortic aneurysm as he simultaneously held forth about how idiotic and imbecilic I am and how I've been a categorical disappointment to him since shortly after I could walk.  

However, in a desperate effort to save my father's life, I quickly whispered to dude, "Tell him 30 dollars."

Dude is a nurse anesthesthitist so obviously swuft and replied coolly, "Thirty to forty dollars depending on the size."

"Dang!  That's kinda high don't ya think?"

"Well, sir, I've been thinking about dropping my prices but times being what they are, and I gotta a family to feed . . ."

"Well, you have a point there."

And I breathed a MASSIVE sigh of relief.

I got dude off to himself later and told him, "If he tries to buy a pig from you, charge him $30 and I'll cover the rest later. But WHATEVER you do, DO NOT tell that man that these pigs cost $300 apiece. If you do, well have to bury him right here on your property. Iffn I take his body back to MS, out of spite and malice, he'll haunt me for the rest of my days."

Fortunately, Youngblood didn't opt into the hog business. 

We loaded one of the pigs into a puppy crate and with a single surge from her eight-week old body it disintegrated.  Feller let me borrow a wire dog cage that will need to be returned upon returning to his farm in four months to purchase a boar.  This held them famously so I paid the man and we were off. Along the way, I stopped to buy a bag of ice to put in the cage with the pigs to keep em cool until we got home (his recommendation).  While there, Youngblood decided he was hungry and when I found him, he and the kids were going through the buffet line. 

G!

Impatiently, I got a hamburger and joined them.  I wolfed mine down while they ate like they were in a 5-star. While they were finishing up, I paid the $45 tab and ushered everyone into the truck as rapidly as possible. One more stop in Brandon for me to top off Youngblood's gas tank and (for Younblood) boiled peanuts, and we made the final push.  Youngblood slept most of the way. As we were pulling into the driveway, he asked, "You ready to go help me down in the hay field?"

After a pregnant pause with mouth agape, "Youngblood, I gotta get a pen fixed for these hogs, get them plus my other ones fed . . . why don't you take my younguns down to the hayfield to pick up them limbs. That's just the kinda work they're suited for."

"I knew I'uz right about how idiotic and imbecilic you are.  You know you've been a categorical disappointment to me and yore momma since shortly after you could walk.  I ain't going nuther place with ya. Your 'farmin' is about to drive me into the poor house."

"But, but . . . "

"Get out and get them $&@#*#+€ pigs outta my truck."

Epilogue-They were back from the massive limb-moving-outta-the-hayfield project in like 15 minutes while I worked until dark with lathered sweat until Linda and Lou were happily housed and well on their way to becoming go down pigs.

And here they are, Linda and Lou - Future Go-Down Hogs and Hub of Toy Ridge Farms' Pastured Pork operation:

Image

(The wife canked the whole Paris Hilton Madona name thingy.)
"Solve world hunger, tell no one." "The, the, the . . . The Grinch!"

"If you can't beat them, bite them."
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby pa_friendly_guy » Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:29 pm

Great Story George, I loved reading it, and I enjoy the southern accent, I am sure it is easy to speak it, but much harder to write it that way. I await your next installment. :D Glad to hear Youngblood is a man of his word, he would have been such a Disappointment to me if he hadn't been, ;)
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby GrahamB » Tue Sep 25, 2012 1:12 am

George you need to look into writing an ebook about your adventures with Youngblood. I had strange looks from the family yesterday when I was reading your story and quietly chuckling to myself.
No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby Lollykoko » Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:21 pm

Wonderful tale, George.
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby George Collins » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:12 am

Thank y'all for that. I do have a good time writing all that stuff about farming with Youngblood. Putting it into words like that makes it a lot easier to handle when he is pitching a fit. The whole time he's throwing down, I'm thinking, "Wow! What wonderful material he's providing me with. I'm gunna have a good time with this later."

My wife has tried for quite a while to get me to write a book. There is one hold back: money. There ain't none in writing. I have an article that I saved somewhere that talks about this very issue. If you're a Tom Clancey, you get to live in a mansion in Monaco. If you're not, you get to live in a used, single-wide house trailer. I work in the medical field and am very fortunate in the present market. If I were going to do something that felt like work, it'd be to work more hours there.

As much as I enjoy the animals (and especially pigs), my heart is with my trees.
"Solve world hunger, tell no one." "The, the, the . . . The Grinch!"

"If you can't beat them, bite them."
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Location: South Central Mississippi, Zone 8a

Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby pa_friendly_guy » Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:42 pm

I was just reading on Yahoo about the World Wide shortage of pork that is coming next year. Farmers all over the world are haveing problems with the corn crop failure and are not breading hogs because they can not afford to feed them. It sounds to me like you picked a good time to start raising hogs. Prices will be high, and for a special breed like you have , prices should be through the roof. When you look at what most of the farmers are doing, and do the oposite, you should normally make money. Most Farmers definately don't make money, so you know that doing what their conventional wisdom tells you to do will most likely not work. Good Luck with raising your Hogs, I think it will work out Great for you.
Never doubt that a small group of dedicated people can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has.
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby pa_friendly_guy » Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:00 pm

I just wanted to comment on what your Grandpa told your Father about what to be afraid of on the farm, with hogs being #1 because they want to eat you. There was a news story on the local Pittsburgh stations today about an old Farmer who was killed and eaten by his pigs. Everyone said that he loved his animals and wanted to die with them. Unfortunately that is exactly what happened. After learning what you had said about hogs I was not really surprised by the news story, it was still very sad to hear.
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby pa_friendly_guy » Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:13 am

Well George, we are all waiting to hear, how are Linda and Lou doing? Do you have a due date yet? Are they in a " Family Way " yet. Have you even found them a Boy Friend yet. Is there any hanky panky in the pig pen? Inquiering minds want to know, ;) . I really want to hear your 1st hand report on the taste of the Berkshire pork. Keep us posted. :D
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Re: Keeping Berkshire Pigs

Postby George Collins » Mon Nov 12, 2012 3:33 am

Linda and Lou are growing rapidly but their love life is so far nonexistant. Linda managed to escape their pen here a couple weeks back. There are currently three separate hog pens all energized by a single source. While trying to get her curly little tail back in, she entered the pen with the intact male that is being fattened (so far unsuccessfully) on acorns and he was downright rude to her. Once we had her back in her pen and the fence re-energized, their electric fence was augmented with one made from cattle panels and hog panels. Ever since, their shenanigans have been quieted.

As for their boy friend, he is not yet of weaning age. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't believe he has even been born yet. He will be about four months younger than they are. Once he makes the two-month mark, we will have to return to Rayville, LA and purchase him.

I think a gilt comes into season around six months. However, I think the general recommendation is to wait until the second cycle befor attempting to breed the first time. Boars are capable of siring when they are like six months old. Since the Linda and Lou are going to be four months old at his estimated arrival date, Linda and Lou will likely not get in that family way until probably about May or June of 2014.

That will hopefully result in pigs in October 2013. A normal time to harvest is 6-8 months so berkshire pork on the table by early 2014.
"Solve world hunger, tell no one." "The, the, the . . . The Grinch!"

"If you can't beat them, bite them."
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